Friday, November 27, 2009

B.S. is a Pacman Fan

Yup. Bill Simmons is a Manny Pacquiao fan.

Q: If the boxing higher-ups had any sense whatsoever they would give us Pacman/Mayweather in six months. I would stop everything to have a fight night party for this event. I have not paid for a boxing event since Holyfield/Lewis in 1999 but I would spend at least $300-$500 to see this. What is the holdup?
-- Seth Johnson, Middletown, N.Y.

SG: It's going to be disappointing. Just warning you now. Floyd Mayweather Jr. could never in a million years trade punches with Manny Pacquiao. He will be on his bicycle for 12 rounds. There is no way that, at this point in his life, Mayweather wants any part of Pacquiao, a concrete-headed, indefatigable freak of nature who can finish with either hand from every angle. If Mayweather gets in the ring, he'll end up doing more laps than Steve Prefontaine did for the University of Oregon. Just keep your guard up when you're spending that $64.95.

(Important note: Will I be spending that money? Of course! Happily! I made the decision during Pacman's glorious evisceration of Miguel Cotto that he finally had reached the exalted "I Don't Care Who You Are Fighting, I Am Watching It Live & That's That" status, which puts him in the following company: Ali, Sugar Ray Leonard, Tyson. My own personal Mount Rushmore. Pacquiao hit Tiger/Federer status about a year ago, and nobody cared. That's why he needs the Mayweather fight so badly. We've seen dominant pound-for-pound guys these past two decades, but nobody with finishing power anything like what Pacman has. He's like a coked-up Aaron Pryor, only without the coke. Insane. If he's fighting, I am watching.)