SSDD. Credit Stephen King (Dreamcatcher) for the title. You should read that book, a good one. Now on to today's story... Posted below are some of my blog entries from August of last year. Outside the random rants and the melodramatic impulses are issues regarding a certain basketball game and tournament. And what do you know, roughly seven months later here i am again feeling that same thing before yet another big game tonight against a the same former team.
Same shit different day indeed. Praytell, it's going to offer DIFFERENT results. We'll have to see about that one. i learned my lesson; i FEEL too much during these titantic games, i look for a different approach tonight. Don't think. Don't feel. Just fucking play the game.
Random Rants: Titantic Game Ahead.
In between trying to start a Pat Riley article for Finish Line and trying not to think about tonight's big game, i open my phone music player, browse through some new forums just discovered, and blog away. No, i am not panicking at all, i am just overly excited about this particular game.
You see we have this league in our dear office called SABL. Nothing too flashy and complicated just six teams from among the many departments fighting it out for the office bragging rights and we are currently in the elimination (classification) round. And why tonight is a TITANTIC night? This is the first time my team (Yellow) will be meeting the Black team, which was my former squad last conference!
+++
For those who understand sports, this is like Steve Nash playing against the Dallas Mavericks and exploding! Ok am not sure about the exploding part but the emotion is way up there... Jason Williams against the Sacramento Kings then blah blah blah...
For the non-sports fans they would probably never understand how important this is. This is like meeting up with your ex-gf in a mall... and both of you have your new partners... The twist: she's with your old friend who bullied you around in high school. And your companion? A Maria Ozawa lookalike, hopefully with less pornish tendecies and a more wholesome charm. Of course, if we lose the game...
+++
Then, it rains. Postponing the game and dousing off the excitement. Gahd, this is my life.
Random Rants: Stuck in Solitude
It was a small white room with no windows but just one plain white door to nowhere. Just so you know, the door is locked too. Why should there be a lock when it is to oblivon you are off to? Might as well ask the question of the purpose of life then. It's not much in being alone or lonely. It is the fact that she could be trapped in her own white room too. The pain is greater when you don't feel it...
Your only visitor is your own paranoia. Morning, noon and evening he comes around. Not to bug you just to bug you but to really talk to you--- talk to you like your long lost best friend. Paranoia, you got to love this guy, always smiling, always that semblance of a happy face, always on top of things even if he is not. He might not know every politcally correct fact in your your life, he might not even understand or even care for you... But he's always around when you need him, and most times even if you don't need him!
Then he leaves at around five past midnight (the exact time) just before the first taste of sleep... You suddenly wake up again, heart racing like it's near the finish line and you just can't find the way back to r.e.m. state.
With paranoia gone and the heart back at work, you know sleep has left the room.
+++
My last blog entry (Titantic Game Ahead) talked about this big game against my former team... For the heck of it, i'll predict my own stats for tomorrow's game: 8 points, 5 assists, 2 steals and the fucking W, baby! We will get the fucking W! Will repost whatever stats i earn tomorrow, i have the feeling i'll look stupid by Wednesday. Oh well.
Random Rants: Emotions Overload
Looking back: For the heck of it, i'll predict my own stats for tomorrow's game: 8 points, 5 assists, 2 steals and the fucking W, baby! We will get the fucking W! Will repost whatever stats i earn tomorrow, i have the feeling i'll look stupid by Wednesday. Oh well.
+++
Stat vs Black Team last night: 11 points (on fucking 5 of 15 FG shooting i think, 1-5 from beyond the arc, 2-2 from the line) Maybe 8 assists but just about as many turnovers. And the most important stat of all, it was a fucking double overtime loss! Double overtime! One chance, two chances! Even life doesn't give you that much chance!
i also muffed a potential game-winner at the end of the regulation, then attempted a rather premature pull-up three at the start of the 2nd OT which i believe turned the game around for the Black team...
+++
Of course, in the end basketball is a team game... thus, this is by all means a team loss but you can not blame me for blaming much of this on myself. It's called passion. i don't care if this is just office mates running around... This is basketball. From 12 am (about the time the game ended) til this afternoon every thing is a replay of the replay of the replay...
All my turnovers and missed shots are playing (in loop!) inside my head not to mention the two most crucial plays i blundered at crunch time. Replay and replay. It's not even a bad dream because i couldn't sleep because of it. Replay and replay in slow motion. For this Wednesday? i was a walking media player with one song in playlist.
+++
There is no justification for the loss, you just have to accept the fact that they were the better team last night. Outplayed, outhustled... but i trust in my teammates that we did not lose our heart. If any, we just discovered that night who we are as a team. Yada yada, this is looking like a half time huddle... And it should work. Book it. We aren't about done yet.
