Monday, January 12, 2009

Just In: The PBA is Scripted

(Brought about my a number of forum posters who just don't enjoy the game like they should)

To all the so-called "fans" of the PBA who thinks the game is rigged i pity all of you.
The moro-moro Ginebra-San Miguel series did feature moro-moro incidents according to the plainly stupid posters. That said, here are your moro-moro interviews n my goddamn fictional mind because some of you think it's g0damnscripted:


+ Moro Moro Superstar Hontiveros - From Don Don: "i had back to back career games to end this fictional series. Damn right, i played the (scripted) role to the hilt that i decided to bring his A+++ game and lead my squad to two improbable comebacks (i decided to lose the game on our first try but really dug deep for the second one just for show)

+ Jay Jay's Heart. Helterbrand thoughts during the series: "i will show everyone i can carry this team even without my partner-in-crime Mark and prove to everyone i can indeed carry a team on my own. F^ck the so-called injuries my team plays with heart and we know how to play defense and push this SMB team to the limit. But oh wait, i won't do much in the second half of game three because it's not according to the so-called script by the most knowledgable, respectable and righteous PBA fans because according to them, it's all in the family, right? So despite my best efforts i will will my team to lose sometime in the end inspite of the fact that i willed my team to win 80 per cent of the time in this series. All for the respect to my beloved knowledgable, respectable and righteous fans."

+ Rookie of the series, Bon Bon - "Hirap din talaga kami sa Ginebra. Pero nung game two panalo kami nun. Nagtimeout na lang para matechnical kami tapos may extra point sila at para mahirapan naman kami sa game-winning possession sana namin. Pero sabi ni Don Don sa game three na lang daw namin tapusin kasi papalamangin namin sila ulit nang malaking double digits tapos comeback na lang ulit kami. Nagpromise sya na makaka-three points sya ng anim (on above 50 per cent shooting daw) kaya ok lang na matalo sa game two. So yun.

+ Olsen Racela- leader - "i stuck my foot out on JJ's jumpshot just for fun. i was told by the commissioner that i'd be kicked out of the ball game 5 minutes before the game and thought why not try something i have never done before just so my fans will be surprised. i am the unquestioned leader of the squad so i'd like to see them react and see if they can step up without myself inside the court. And what do you know, they just did. i was laughing all along inside the locker room when Ginebra had the 21-point bubble because i knew we'd (without myself) make that improbable run in the fourth quarter. i am liking this image better so maybe i'd stick my foot out once again in the TNT series. Just for fun."

+ Siot Tanquincen: "i always knew i am lightyears behind Jong in coaching in the PBA. i field in weird and questionable rotations all throughout becuase i don't actually understand coaching. Moreover, i don't even understand the game. So what i did was field in random players from my bench. Whoever was smiling at me when i look at them during the games i put them inside because i really like nice and positive kind of players. Thank goodness Don Don was smiling all the time in that best of three. Danny Seigle and Bon Bon was really the pair that had the most perfect smile during that stretch. So much so that i decided to go with the despite the fact that one is an aging and hurting veteran and the other is just a greenie who has the reputation of selling some of his games. But so what, i liked their smile so i put them in. And regarding the comeback games? My favorite number is 21 so i said to the team to start playing their game only when Ginebra reach that 21 point bubble. This is God's plan."

+ Cabatu - "Medyo nahirapan din ako sa script mo. Imagine sabi ni coach tirahin at ipasok ko daw yung tres ko sa game two matapos ipasok ni Don Don ang isang three points na napakalayo. Pero dahil nga nasa script (at ayaw ko naman matanggalan ng trabaho sa pelikulang to) inayos ko na din yung stroke ko at yun pumasok nga."

+ Mamaril - "Pareho kay Jun Jun, mahirap din yung role ko. Pinapagacareer ba naman ako ni Coach Jong! Pero ok lang hamak naman na masmagaling ako kaya Papa sa basketball--- kasama nga pala yan sa script para lang may pagusapan ang tao tungkol sa father-son players sa PBA.


SO THERE, hope everyone is happy now that i got these exclusive interviews from some of the key players in that series.

SMB: From the wildcard to the 'ship?

Miracle of miracles. In the Philippine Basketball Association, the San Miguel Beermen erased a 21 point lead in the second half to steal game three and the quarterfinal series against rival Ginebra Kings. This was the second time in three days that SMB dug a double-digit hole and came back (They almost won in game two) Never say die? It's more like, never say never...

Next up, it's the automatic semis qualifiers Talk N Text Phone Pals. The Kings-Beermen match-up was a classic and yet i feel that this best-of-seven series will outdo the previous one...

That being said, here are a few unsolicited pointers for San Miguel if they want to play for the championship:

+ Know Your Identity. Stick with it, shove it to TNT's face and use it to the hilt. And that means running, running and more running. Obviously, both squads have high-powered offenses to brag about and their depth, something really to drool at. That said, it's about the Beermen sticking to their newfound glory in the oldschool fast pace offense. Like any plan it's always double-edged. Against the potential of the TNT squad, the plan to run could very well blow up on their own faces. But the real key here is sticking and believing with the system--- a system that obviously worked in the wildcard phase and just recently agains the Kings in the quarterfinal round.

+ Wing for the Win. Ride Hontiveros' hot streak... And to an extent trust Bon Bon even more. Moreover, Lordy Tugade has yet to see an above average game in the playoffs--- maybe it's his time to shine. Winning the shooting guard/small forward battle should be a priority. This is because of two points; a) TNT's wings are also very capable offensively, if you can't stop or contain them, at least make them work on the defensive end. The usual suspects will be there; Mac Cardona and maybe even the rookies (Dillinger, Castro) will step up. and b) TNT's depth across the 1-5 spots can neutralize San Miguel's own depth that it is vital for the Beermen to win in the said positions.

+ Heart, heart and heart. If there's one thing that San Miguel learned in the wildcard then in the quarters it's that it's not talent alone that will win you ballgames--- it's that innate and basic desire to wanting to win because it's all that matters. The test of the wild card was a surprise phase for the much-maligned "all star" line-up. And Ginebra became the tough customer that everyone expected. But... Siot's boys learned the lessons (the hard way) and the Beermen should simply remember those lessons.