The untamed comedy of pain

Love shit story coming up. Stop reading if you have a heart.

All i really remember was the tragic ending. No, more like the sad ending. Tragic is too strong a word, and sad is just the apt reference. It’s neither empty nor assuming, just the right one. Another thing I remember was that it’s title included the word “heart”, I wasn’t too sure then if it was untamed or weak hearts because movies over free tv back then never gave you a clue what it’s called because after all they tell you the title just in the beginning. Years passed, thanks to the web I did find the right title of the movie starring Christian Slater and Marissa Tomei.

I remember I once fell in love with Tomei in the movie “Only You”--- yes, the Damon Bradley-led love shit story, but it was in the movie “Untamed Heart” that I fell in love with the story itself--- Tomei this time was just a character. And just one of the characters in the movie that cut you through--- deep and deep--- it just doesn’t hurt; it defines you all the unexplained and empty emotions it that in a way and the other defines the ineffability of unconditional love.

The roughly one and half hour flick started with Adam (Christian Slater) as a very young boy in an orphanage run by nuns. That one and half hour was two and more including advertisements the first and only time I watched it when I was in high school. Deep and deep, the vivid images and the powerful plot brings you back to the struggle and pleasure of the entire film even fifteen years or so later, and probably more, if time allows.

Fast forward to fifteen years and more--- Adam’s life in the movie, not mine--- we find him working in a restaurant working with Caroline (Marissa Tomei). In a few words, Caroline was wild and Adam was mild--- both an exaggeration and an understatement. In short, oil and water (oil and vinegar says Caroline's character, we don't know if it was a joke or otherwise) that will never mix even if you tried. But in love, you do not even have to try, it just happens.

After many unsuccessful relationships, Caroline was in the unintentional process of just feeling and not looking for errr… love. For accidents are not mere coincidences, the unassuming Adam finds himself being introduced to Caroline after the former saved the latter in what was a rape attempt at Caroline. This was Adam the beast, almost fearless always pure emotion, which beat the hell out of the men who tried to destroy the life of his love and the love of his life. In the next few weeks in between Christmas and New Year (Credit the writers for picking the best time for a tragic story!) Caroline eventually got Adam to open up--- in more ways than one--- his heart and soul and mind. Backtrack a little bit, Adam has a congenital heart disease--- just so considerate to mention that in this line--- the same heart that will explain the title of the movie and define the Adam-ness in Adam.

More understatements: Adam was aloof of the world, boxed in his own and distant from it. The silent introvert type who lives in an almost unassuming and unreal dreams but true. His world is his own and Caroline’s--- he admits to her later that he has been stalking her for such a long time; that he watches her sleep because of… the peace in her face and not even wanting a piece of her mind (Stalking bastard is what comes to mind)… Stalking or just plain insane, what happened was the accident of saving her from the pair of felons, all not mere coincidences in a script written by destiny and acted upon by love.

As both our main characters started to really get to know each other, from Adam’s fixation to nothingness but her to her realization of the unconditional emotion in front of her, Adam and Caroline became as one--- for oil and vinegar (water) do mix, just add a little bit of ingredient called heart.

Twists and turns as in real life, bad moments get the best of the better people. The nameless felons eventually got back at Adam, finding him at the back alley of the restaurant, returning the favor and more, and stabbing him right at the center of his gut. Forward to the hospital scene, Adam was saved but as the doctor attending to him probably summarized the moral of the movie; “it’s not the knife wound that we are concerned about, it’s the heart that we are concerned.”

Warning: another love shit comparison coming up: for all our courage to fight and to bounce back from pain, it’s the love within us that reminds us of all the pain, and maybe, just maybe we can die from that same love as well. The doctor, the medical one and not the love doctor did remind Caroline that the recovery from trauma was a rare case as well, and maybe, just maybe it was what saved Adam’s life that night.

The doctor would suggest a heart transplant but Adam would none of it (stupid bastard) saying later: “They’re wrong, no one is taking away my heart…this is my heart.” (Time to bash orphanages now for “educating” the stupid bastard) And so Adam lived with a half a heart with Caroline compensating the half of it (Since this is a tragic story we know from this point on that Adam was living somewhat a half life.)

With the stupid leading the blind (or vice versa, depending on which character you are in this film), the movie builds up the sad ending. Caroline gives Adam a surprise birthday gift a few days/weeks/later bringing him to a hockey game between the Detroit Redwings and Dallas Stars… Adam did enjoy the game even catching a rare puck shot into the stands. We don’t know if he even understands sports in general, but he had a very interesting and new experience to say the least and Caroline was the star of the game. In the long way drive home with Adam at the passenger’s seat, he died staring at Caroline’s face and peace and happiness. Of course, she assumed that it was just sleep that consumed his tired loved one. But it was sleep times eternity, and it is called death.

The discovery was of course painful. The realization that your loved one has ceased or has gone away eats up… everything. Caroline, in the film’s saddest moment, was waking up Adam inside the car telling him: “Come on, baby, we are home… Baby… baby…” and crying and crying and crying… The directors and scriptwriters did spare us of more pain as the next scene brought as right to burial but pulls the rug right under us… ...as the film ended with Caroline, happy and sad and happy and sand and empty, in Adam’s apartment holding some pictures of the past with Adam… With Adam’s collection of vinyl records (instrumental)… Adam’s previously unread letter… “i carry your heart with me… I am not yet finishe… I carry it in my heart.”

The end.

No more love shit notes from here onwards. Promise. Continue reading, have a heart. I wish I was Adam and not Caroline today because the greatest tragedy of our lives is not the absence of happiness but just the absence. The greatest comedy of pain and of death is not in sadness but in emptiness.