i have an idea for a... errr... a concept for the blog. The title of this entry pretty summarizes that idea. Now, i can't delve too much into it because i might just spoil it. However, there's also a thing called hype (or called personal pressure) which i might not achieve at all.
So there, it's called pre-planning for the pre-plans before the actual planning stage without sacrificing much of the spontaneity. This is called blogpostpadding as well when i all really want is to remember the phrase, fight Fate, create your own Destiny because i have been uberforgetful as of late.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Eight hours off work...
Actually, reviewing my math, it's still 15 hours away... Eight hours is just the bus ride from Naga to Manila. Add a few more minutes for the trip to Antipolo, back to the place where i work.
It's always like this. There's always a feeling of melancholy as i wait for my Ma's pechay-giniling dinner; as i wait for my pamangkin to wake up from his short siesta for this afternoon; as i talk to my Pa about future plans for the house and other family stuff; all of them and some i will miss, one way and the other and it kind of hurts a little bit that i have to return to work again after spending just 48 hours or less in Naga...
In a word, it SUCKS that i have to work very far far away from what you would like to call home.
i ALWAYS envy friends and officemates and some that live in Manila where their family and close friends and some are located--- the simple happiness that brings you to a smile after a hard day's work, or just the fact that they are there after a lazy morning during weekend or self-declared weekends that is a Thursday because you just want to bum around and sit and sit and sleep and eat and sleep and sit some more on that day.
Work, here i come again. Better not bore me this week and this month and the rest of the year. i might just consider leaving it ALL so i can return to Naga... To bum around and sit and sit and sleep and eat and sleep and sit some more.
It's always like this. There's always a feeling of melancholy as i wait for my Ma's pechay-giniling dinner; as i wait for my pamangkin to wake up from his short siesta for this afternoon; as i talk to my Pa about future plans for the house and other family stuff; all of them and some i will miss, one way and the other and it kind of hurts a little bit that i have to return to work again after spending just 48 hours or less in Naga...
In a word, it SUCKS that i have to work very far far away from what you would like to call home.
i ALWAYS envy friends and officemates and some that live in Manila where their family and close friends and some are located--- the simple happiness that brings you to a smile after a hard day's work, or just the fact that they are there after a lazy morning during weekend or self-declared weekends that is a Thursday because you just want to bum around and sit and sit and sleep and eat and sleep and sit some more on that day.
Work, here i come again. Better not bore me this week and this month and the rest of the year. i might just consider leaving it ALL so i can return to Naga... To bum around and sit and sit and sleep and eat and sleep and sit some more.
The sum of a world of difference is your indifference
So much for your apathy. Here's a mad try to complete this poem, free verse or whatever it's called.
The sum of a world of difference is your indifference
can there be a happy ending
with out a beginning?
a ray of hope
that empties itself
to a world void of you
your world can never be mine,
your world, so so fine
my world created
by an endless fire of a past
in a world of ire
can there be a new beginning
with reservations for a same old ending?
a hopeless light
tries to shine bright
in a world void of you
your world, i wish it was mine
your world, so so fine
my world, it could be yours
ah! such empty hopes like the past
recreated by a world of indifference
can there be a middle ground
in all of these unreasonable extremes?
a hopeful sight
even in a world void of you
your world is not mine
and mine can never be so so fine
but it could be yours
give in, give up, give all
the savior is a world of difference
can anyone save me now
from this open apathy?
hope (against hope)
voids a world with out
your world that will never be mine
a world as fine as your empty smile
i could be yours
you could be mine
if only the sum of this world of difference
is not defined by your indifference
can there be a happy ending
with out a beginning?
a ray of hope
that empties itself
to a world void of you
your world can never be mine,
your world, so so fine
my world created
by an endless fire of a past
in a world of ire
can there be a new beginning
with reservations for a same old ending?
a hopeless light
tries to shine bright
in a world void of you
your world, i wish it was mine
your world, so so fine
my world, it could be yours
ah! such empty hopes like the past
recreated by a world of indifference
can there be a middle ground
in all of these unreasonable extremes?
a hopeful sight
even in a world void of you
your world is not mine
and mine can never be so so fine
but it could be yours
give in, give up, give all
the savior is a world of difference
can anyone save me now
from this open apathy?
hope (against hope)
voids a world with out
your world that will never be mine
a world as fine as your empty smile
i could be yours
you could be mine
if only the sum of this world of difference
is not defined by your indifference
Friday, May 30, 2008
Biting the Bullet
Heck. Lately, i can't think of anything to write. It must be lack of sleep again. Anyway, a few random realizations this Friday in bullet points!
(i assume everyone agrees that the "bullet point" is the greatest typographical symbol invented in the history of writing civilization. Imagine! You actually have a chance, and a choice, to not "settle" and use the more formal, and oft-times more required, "paragraph" form of writing. Take that, grammar and writing pow-lice!)
(i assume everyone agrees that the "bullet point" is the greatest typographical symbol invented in the history of writing civilization. Imagine! You actually have a chance, and a choice, to not "settle" and use the more formal, and oft-times more required, "paragraph" form of writing. Take that, grammar and writing pow-lice!)
- Our team was assigned to shoot the APT Ray Ban Celebrity Tournament at Dusit Hotel last Tuesday...
- i was excited since it involved poker but not everyone in the team felt the same way... Well, i was probably the only one excited...
- Poker coverage won't work if the freaking tournament director can not follow instructions!
- Come to think of it, celebrity poker coverage won't work if the freaking celebrities can not follow instructions!
- Quick explanation on the last two bullets: even with a lipstick camera one or two persons can NOT really monitor the cards!
- So good luck to our team putting up the graphics because of the tournament director, who wouldn't do his job and the celebrities who couldn't follow instructions...
- Speaking of graphics... Since we will be rather short on the "resources" this calls for another creative escape...
- It's called "manipulating the graphics" and you won't ever notice what, how and why it still worked..
- Watch the celebrity tournament 2-3 weeks from now... Yes, it will take that much time to edit this shit..
- Meetings can tell you about lots of people's tendencies... and their potentials... or how worthless your boss (one of them, anyway) is.
- Well not exactly worthless... You just hope that your boss showed more errrr... spunk and emotion in that meeting, i mean it's part of the responsibility, right?
- But, no... and worthless was exactly the right word.
- ...Impressive was the pair of "bosses" from other channels.
- You almost wish you were transferred to those other channels. Indeed, i can learn a thing or two or three or more about my job and other things if i was under them...
- i DID not catch their names but i won't forget how they handled themselves in a meeting such as that one. It was a lesson on organization and poise, we hope one boss took the cue...
- When i try to talk, and there's is still no conversation, what is it called? Indifference, baby. Indifference is the right word.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
The Rights Romance
Disclaimer: The persons, names of persons, events and names of events may or may not be a work of fiction and may even be as a disguise to actual persons or actual events. And if you look hard enough, it may or may not be a concerted effort to make an analogy with actual Philippine TV companies and major players. Any resemblance to persons and events and their obvious comparisons may or may not be coincidental.
The Title: The Rights Romance
The Cast of Characters and a brief description of each:
Ricardo Rufus III. Off a family of the rich and the famous and is rich and famous; competent and aggressive. Knows what he wants and most of the times gets what he wants... Be it local or international prospects, he knows the art of selling himself. And most of the time, he succeeds with it. He is getting into sports nowadays after years of flirting with the idea. You could say, he is starting to develop the balls for it.
Sonny Corpuz. Could be as rich as Rufus but not as famous; bright but at times inept with his inability to express himself. Loves sports among others but he also knows his entertainment with a touch of class but lacks the punch when trying to "score" local beauties. Unlike Rufus, he's just a relatively new "player" in this field but has been making a name for himself as of late stealing away precious pretty "properties" in Pacita Manila and Natalie B. Azucena...
Like Rufus, Sonny is clamoring for the newest available damsel in distress this part of town: Fiona B. Azucena, distant cousin of Natalie. Natalie was always the hot one this side of the family but Fiona just reeks with potential...
(With a special appearance by) Mike Strong. The new kid on the block. Might as well be rich as both Rufus and Sonny. Maybe combined. Maybe just a nuisance suitor. Nobody really knows. Which makes him a very interesting, wild-card character.
The Plot and general overview of the story, some of it already mentioned in passing in recent paragraphs:
Fiona has an impending divorce with a certain Alex Brian Carando after three years of marriage. With their break-up an open secret since the start of the year, the general public, which lives and dies and breathes and lies with romantic rumors and whatnots, has speculated about Fiona's fate and destiny--- in any order.
Speculation has concluded that only two major players have been aggressively pursuing the heart of Fiona. As speculations can not be trusted, and even hasty conclusions can not be believed, there came a third player in the form of Mr. Strong who joined the fray, so to speak.
Thus, the simple plot is the simple plan of Sirs Ricardo, Sonny and Mike to ask Madame Fiona's hand, with considerations to prenuptial agreements which varies from one to the other two suitors.
The Actual Story, which may or may not involve actual dialogues that may or may not have actually happened:
January 2008. Even before the turn of the year, there were already murmurs of Fiona's spat with Alex. A spat that could mean a bitter(sweet) end for both. The rumblings in the Carando residence is that the gentleman Alex Brian is having financial problems in his latest business ventures... Losing money so fast that he could not afford anymore giving support to Fiona. As the first month of the year arrived, already the rumors were confirmed as Fiona is said to have decided to date other men--- admirably, with Alex's content.
By March to April, Fiona was said to have taken dating to another level. If reports and rumors are to be believed, Fiona exclusively dated Ricardo Rufus III for eight weeks straight! Paving for even more reports and rumors that Fiona has indeed fallen and that it was Rufus who broke that fall. Rufus reputation precedes him and it indeed helped that he is from a well-off family which most likely means a bright financial future for the the pair. Fiona was starstruck and Ricardo confidently believed that the stars have aligned in his favor.
But Fiona, a respectable if not classy woman (depends on how you look at it...) still found time to entertain other suitors. One of them was Sonny Corpuz, who showed much dedication in the few days that he spent with Ms. Azucena. It is worth noting that last year, in Fiona's birthday party Sonny appeared as guest and handled the opening program for that event. In retrospect, maybe Sonny was setting up the pawns even before any actual battle.
Late in the game, one Mike Strong put his name in the hat to join the fray for Fiona's nod... Apparently, Mr.Strong is another rich gentleman and offered Fiona almost the moon and the stars (By comparison, Rufus offered a quarter and lots of stars; Sonny offered a half-moon and a part of the sun...)
At this point of the story, you have to understand that indeed Fiona is as confused as anyone else in the same situation. After all, this is her future we are talking about. A future that will be defined by her decision... A decision that could mean a replay of the glories or disappointments of the past...
+++
Middle of May 2008. A few days before decision day.
The evening was dark and lovely as Fiona's satin dress. Earlier in the day and even the week, already Fiona's parents were pressuring her to make the choice... Mothers know best and Fathers almost always follow her better half's lead... After all, parents are the invisible hands that pushes their daughters to an unknown yet obvious desires. And Mr. and Mrs. Azucena are not so different in that sense.
+++
(Overheard conversations at a dinner party):
Rufus (after cornering Fiona somewhere in the dinner table): Good evening, Ms. Fiona. It's been awhile now, eh? Two, maybe three months now since i have showed intention... All those weeks we have been together, those are special times, wasn't it? Special people like you deserve special people like me.
Fiona: Yes, Rufus. That was the very reason why i--- and my parents--- invited all of you to tonight's dinner... i have a very errr... special announcement to make. It's---...
Rufus (brimming with confidence): Ah yes. It's such a special evening... And nothing else matters except what you decide tonight...
Fiona: Yes... That's pretty much it... Excuse me, Rufus.
Fiona stands up and tries to get the attention of everyone at the round table. Flanking Fiona were Mrs. Azucena and Rufus. Mr. Azucena, who was talkin to Mike Strong to his left, was beside his wife. A couple of guests, Sonny Corpuz and a trio of other famous personalities, back to Rufus complete the circle.
Fiona: Good evening dear guests... As i mentioned to Rufus just a few seconds ago...
(Smiles at Rufus.He returns a toothy grin)
Fiona: ... i, we, have a very special announcement to make tonight.
(Both Mr. and Mrs. Azucena stands up, the mother holds her daughter's shaking hands)
Fiona: For the past year, all of you know that me and my husband have been in a rather uneven terms... Earlier this year, i had the opportunity of meeting some interesting and real people... And i want to thank them tonight before i make the announcement... Mike, it was a short time but i felt your genuine intention... It's just that i did not get to know you better...
Mike: It was my pleasure, Madam. i do wish as well that we had the time to get to know each other better...
(Mike returns to his dinner of lemon chicken)
Fiona: Sonny. You have shown every bit of desire to be with me. i know, i have been uh, kind of aloof regarding your intention... i admit and i apologize for this, i doubted your capabilities and your past really confuses me...
Sonny: No apologies needed Fiona. i understand very well.
(Fiona turns to Rufus)
Fiona: And you my dear Rufus... It's a bit of an understatement to say that i am impressed... You have been the most... Dedicated. And more than anybody else in the group, you have shown me things which they can only dream and imagine...
(Rufus rises)
Fiona:... i have made my decision. Sonny, i want to marry you.
(Sonny is a bit stunned. Hands shaking a bit but manages to stand up and reach Fiona's hand...)
Sonny: ...
(Rufus IS stunned. His entire body shaking but managed to return to his seat.)
Rufus (whimpers): i don't understand...
(Rufus then assumes his standing position and tries to speak to Fiona or to speak to no one in particular...)
Rufus: i don't understand...
(Rufus half-walks and half-runs off the table... He stumbles a bit but managed to get his bearings back...)
Rufus (half-shout of bitterness): This did not just happen! You will regret this, Fiona!
(Fiona stares at him but looks away as he holds Sonny's trembling hands)
Sonny: Fiona, this is indeed a special evening... Mr. and Mrs. Azucena, i want to thank you for raising your child the right way... Mike, i don't know you and nobody knows you, but you have been a gentleman in all of this.
(Mike stands up and takes a bow of respect...)
Mike: Grateful for all of it, Sonny. Fiona, much respect to you and your family and good luck
(Mike respectfully leaves the table even as the other guests along with the Azucena couple took their cue and went to do and mind their business off the table as well...)
+++
Sonny: i don't know what to say...
Fiona: You don't have to say anything...
Sonny: i won't assure you anything, Fiona...
Fiona: AND you don't have to assure anything. i did make my decision and i hope--- no, it's a we now-- we can only hope that this works for now and the future... Together, Sonny?
Sonny: Yes, Fiona. Together, we will make this work--- one way and the other.
+++
Nobody knows if this is a live-happily-ever-after story. Sonny and Fiona have set their wedding sometime this year. (Fiona has yet to finish the paper works in his divorce with Mr. Caranda).
+++
What everyone knew was Rufus's story. Immediately after the momentous evening, Rufus was said to have told his close associates, friends and practically the entire town of how he "fell out of love" with Fiona.
Yes. Falling out love. Despite chasing her for two, maybe three months, maybe even more. After all, it's easier to soften the fall, rather than to soften the blow.
+++
Stranger things have happened with Love. And In Love.
+++
And even stranger things happen in Philippine TV.
+++
...
+++
Here are the significant links on various news reports over the last few months; where it started and where it will finally end up. And they are not talking about Rufus, Sonny or Fiona.
http://sports.inquirer.net/inquirersports/inquirersports/view/20080522-138037/PBA-torn-between-Solar-ABS-CBN
http://sports.inquirer.net/inquirersports/inquirersports/view/20080501-133818/Identical-PBA-bids-by-Solar-ABS-CBN
http://pinoyexchange.com/forums/showthread.php?t=335342
http://philstar.com/index.php?Sports&p=49&type=2&sec=30&aid=2008052684
The Title: The Rights Romance
The Cast of Characters and a brief description of each:
Ricardo Rufus III. Off a family of the rich and the famous and is rich and famous; competent and aggressive. Knows what he wants and most of the times gets what he wants... Be it local or international prospects, he knows the art of selling himself. And most of the time, he succeeds with it. He is getting into sports nowadays after years of flirting with the idea. You could say, he is starting to develop the balls for it.
Sonny Corpuz. Could be as rich as Rufus but not as famous; bright but at times inept with his inability to express himself. Loves sports among others but he also knows his entertainment with a touch of class but lacks the punch when trying to "score" local beauties. Unlike Rufus, he's just a relatively new "player" in this field but has been making a name for himself as of late stealing away precious pretty "properties" in Pacita Manila and Natalie B. Azucena...
Like Rufus, Sonny is clamoring for the newest available damsel in distress this part of town: Fiona B. Azucena, distant cousin of Natalie. Natalie was always the hot one this side of the family but Fiona just reeks with potential...
(With a special appearance by) Mike Strong. The new kid on the block. Might as well be rich as both Rufus and Sonny. Maybe combined. Maybe just a nuisance suitor. Nobody really knows. Which makes him a very interesting, wild-card character.
The Plot and general overview of the story, some of it already mentioned in passing in recent paragraphs:
Fiona has an impending divorce with a certain Alex Brian Carando after three years of marriage. With their break-up an open secret since the start of the year, the general public, which lives and dies and breathes and lies with romantic rumors and whatnots, has speculated about Fiona's fate and destiny--- in any order.
Speculation has concluded that only two major players have been aggressively pursuing the heart of Fiona. As speculations can not be trusted, and even hasty conclusions can not be believed, there came a third player in the form of Mr. Strong who joined the fray, so to speak.
Thus, the simple plot is the simple plan of Sirs Ricardo, Sonny and Mike to ask Madame Fiona's hand, with considerations to prenuptial agreements which varies from one to the other two suitors.
The Actual Story, which may or may not involve actual dialogues that may or may not have actually happened:
January 2008. Even before the turn of the year, there were already murmurs of Fiona's spat with Alex. A spat that could mean a bitter(sweet) end for both. The rumblings in the Carando residence is that the gentleman Alex Brian is having financial problems in his latest business ventures... Losing money so fast that he could not afford anymore giving support to Fiona. As the first month of the year arrived, already the rumors were confirmed as Fiona is said to have decided to date other men--- admirably, with Alex's content.
By March to April, Fiona was said to have taken dating to another level. If reports and rumors are to be believed, Fiona exclusively dated Ricardo Rufus III for eight weeks straight! Paving for even more reports and rumors that Fiona has indeed fallen and that it was Rufus who broke that fall. Rufus reputation precedes him and it indeed helped that he is from a well-off family which most likely means a bright financial future for the the pair. Fiona was starstruck and Ricardo confidently believed that the stars have aligned in his favor.
But Fiona, a respectable if not classy woman (depends on how you look at it...) still found time to entertain other suitors. One of them was Sonny Corpuz, who showed much dedication in the few days that he spent with Ms. Azucena. It is worth noting that last year, in Fiona's birthday party Sonny appeared as guest and handled the opening program for that event. In retrospect, maybe Sonny was setting up the pawns even before any actual battle.
Late in the game, one Mike Strong put his name in the hat to join the fray for Fiona's nod... Apparently, Mr.Strong is another rich gentleman and offered Fiona almost the moon and the stars (By comparison, Rufus offered a quarter and lots of stars; Sonny offered a half-moon and a part of the sun...)
At this point of the story, you have to understand that indeed Fiona is as confused as anyone else in the same situation. After all, this is her future we are talking about. A future that will be defined by her decision... A decision that could mean a replay of the glories or disappointments of the past...
+++
Middle of May 2008. A few days before decision day.
The evening was dark and lovely as Fiona's satin dress. Earlier in the day and even the week, already Fiona's parents were pressuring her to make the choice... Mothers know best and Fathers almost always follow her better half's lead... After all, parents are the invisible hands that pushes their daughters to an unknown yet obvious desires. And Mr. and Mrs. Azucena are not so different in that sense.
+++
(Overheard conversations at a dinner party):
Rufus (after cornering Fiona somewhere in the dinner table): Good evening, Ms. Fiona. It's been awhile now, eh? Two, maybe three months now since i have showed intention... All those weeks we have been together, those are special times, wasn't it? Special people like you deserve special people like me.
Fiona: Yes, Rufus. That was the very reason why i--- and my parents--- invited all of you to tonight's dinner... i have a very errr... special announcement to make. It's---...
Rufus (brimming with confidence): Ah yes. It's such a special evening... And nothing else matters except what you decide tonight...
Fiona: Yes... That's pretty much it... Excuse me, Rufus.
Fiona stands up and tries to get the attention of everyone at the round table. Flanking Fiona were Mrs. Azucena and Rufus. Mr. Azucena, who was talkin to Mike Strong to his left, was beside his wife. A couple of guests, Sonny Corpuz and a trio of other famous personalities, back to Rufus complete the circle.
Fiona: Good evening dear guests... As i mentioned to Rufus just a few seconds ago...
(Smiles at Rufus.He returns a toothy grin)
Fiona: ... i, we, have a very special announcement to make tonight.
(Both Mr. and Mrs. Azucena stands up, the mother holds her daughter's shaking hands)
Fiona: For the past year, all of you know that me and my husband have been in a rather uneven terms... Earlier this year, i had the opportunity of meeting some interesting and real people... And i want to thank them tonight before i make the announcement... Mike, it was a short time but i felt your genuine intention... It's just that i did not get to know you better...
Mike: It was my pleasure, Madam. i do wish as well that we had the time to get to know each other better...
(Mike returns to his dinner of lemon chicken)
Fiona: Sonny. You have shown every bit of desire to be with me. i know, i have been uh, kind of aloof regarding your intention... i admit and i apologize for this, i doubted your capabilities and your past really confuses me...
Sonny: No apologies needed Fiona. i understand very well.
(Fiona turns to Rufus)
Fiona: And you my dear Rufus... It's a bit of an understatement to say that i am impressed... You have been the most... Dedicated. And more than anybody else in the group, you have shown me things which they can only dream and imagine...
(Rufus rises)
Fiona:... i have made my decision. Sonny, i want to marry you.
(Sonny is a bit stunned. Hands shaking a bit but manages to stand up and reach Fiona's hand...)
Sonny: ...
(Rufus IS stunned. His entire body shaking but managed to return to his seat.)
Rufus (whimpers): i don't understand...
(Rufus then assumes his standing position and tries to speak to Fiona or to speak to no one in particular...)
Rufus: i don't understand...
(Rufus half-walks and half-runs off the table... He stumbles a bit but managed to get his bearings back...)
Rufus (half-shout of bitterness): This did not just happen! You will regret this, Fiona!
(Fiona stares at him but looks away as he holds Sonny's trembling hands)
Sonny: Fiona, this is indeed a special evening... Mr. and Mrs. Azucena, i want to thank you for raising your child the right way... Mike, i don't know you and nobody knows you, but you have been a gentleman in all of this.
(Mike stands up and takes a bow of respect...)
Mike: Grateful for all of it, Sonny. Fiona, much respect to you and your family and good luck
(Mike respectfully leaves the table even as the other guests along with the Azucena couple took their cue and went to do and mind their business off the table as well...)
+++
Sonny: i don't know what to say...
Fiona: You don't have to say anything...
Sonny: i won't assure you anything, Fiona...
Fiona: AND you don't have to assure anything. i did make my decision and i hope--- no, it's a we now-- we can only hope that this works for now and the future... Together, Sonny?
Sonny: Yes, Fiona. Together, we will make this work--- one way and the other.
+++
Nobody knows if this is a live-happily-ever-after story. Sonny and Fiona have set their wedding sometime this year. (Fiona has yet to finish the paper works in his divorce with Mr. Caranda).
+++
What everyone knew was Rufus's story. Immediately after the momentous evening, Rufus was said to have told his close associates, friends and practically the entire town of how he "fell out of love" with Fiona.
Yes. Falling out love. Despite chasing her for two, maybe three months, maybe even more. After all, it's easier to soften the fall, rather than to soften the blow.
+++
Stranger things have happened with Love. And In Love.
+++
And even stranger things happen in Philippine TV.
+++
...
+++
Here are the significant links on various news reports over the last few months; where it started and where it will finally end up. And they are not talking about Rufus, Sonny or Fiona.
http://sports.inquirer.net/inquirersports/inquirersports/view/20080522-138037/PBA-torn-between-Solar-ABS-CBN
http://sports.inquirer.net/inquirersports/inquirersports/view/20080501-133818/Identical-PBA-bids-by-Solar-ABS-CBN
http://pinoyexchange.com/forums/showthread.php?t=335342
http://philstar.com/index.php?Sports&p=49&type=2&sec=30&aid=2008052684
Friday, May 23, 2008
Random Poll of the Week: The Life and Death Question
While there are only six people who voted in my initial poll, i must remain an optimist. (Though, i doubt this part) i am still hoping the buzz would pick up and i expect about eight people regularly taking part on this democratic process by the end of 2010.
The initial salvo was about my hair, the second one is about your life. You've voted? Now be heard. The question goes...
The initial salvo was about my hair, the second one is about your life. You've voted? Now be heard. The question goes...
Would you rather...
a) Die first? (Meaning, now now and now) - You will suddenly drop dead. The memories, your life will flash before your very eyes right about now...
Pros:
+ All your problems are suddenly solved, well at least non-existent. And at worst, you can do none about it now.
+ Whatever you believe in, whichever God you have faith with, this will be it. You will meet Him at this hour...
Cons:
- You will leave behind your loved ones. Early. Very early.
- For whatever mission you had, for whatever purpose you searched for... It's simple over. (Raise your hands just above chest level, cross left over right, and right over left: It's Ovah!)
- No more text messages from ANYone. (Unless there's a Globe signal in heaven/hell) Although those text messages you want to receive are rather laconic, it still puts a smile on your face every good night and smiley and good morning and smiley.
b) Die last? (Until after every human being is dead which means you are still alive roughly 5 minutes before doomsday)
Pros:
+ More quality time with loved ones
+ Time to change your pathetic lifestyle
+ Time for a dinner or two with ANYone
Cons
- You really want to spend the last hours of your life alone?
- Everyone of your loved ones is dead before it's your time. If you ask me, that's real lonely
- Looooong wait to meet your Maker
c) Not answer the question (It's sick and it's real creepy... i take HYPOTHETICAL questions too seriously. Heck, come to think of it, i am taking life too seriously)
Pros and Cons:
You lack imagination.
Call my bluff?
No bluff, i will be a (Pro) poker player in a couple of years, maybe three. That maybe a stretch (the aspiration not the number) maybe even close to impossibility. But this is the few times when i REALLY KNOW what i WANT. How will i do it? i don't have a freaking idea. Practice through online poker games? i can't do that from the office and even get fired for it. Play amateurish poker with amateurish friends? That can get me the experience, but how will that help me improve my amateurish tendencies?
Noel Old Man's fold-now-and-forever strategy could really test my patience. Don's strange and random tactics could teach me a thing or two about organization. Che or Enteng's not-so-innocent innocent i-dont-know-how-to-play-poker-but-i-got-a-pair-of-aces looks could tell me what really poker is about--- that you don't really know jackshit about anything, you only have an "idea.
Two years maybe three... Pro poker player. i think i can do that one. And if lucky, i might just steal the biggest pot in this hand called life. We will see.
Noel Old Man's fold-now-and-forever strategy could really test my patience. Don's strange and random tactics could teach me a thing or two about organization. Che or Enteng's not-so-innocent innocent i-dont-know-how-to-play-poker-but-i-got-a-pair-of-aces looks could tell me what really poker is about--- that you don't really know jackshit about anything, you only have an "idea.Two years maybe three... Pro poker player. i think i can do that one. And if lucky, i might just steal the biggest pot in this hand called life. We will see.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Indecision, indecision
Starting today, i'll have to put all (well,most) life-altering predicaments posted on the right side of my blog (Lookie, there's a shameless poll just right of this post). Make your voice count, the key word here is "life-altering", you can help make a mark on this lifetime!
Blame it on indecision. With this rather irrational mind, i need every grain of sanity i can get.
Blame it on indecision. With this rather irrational mind, i need every grain of sanity i can get.
Irresponsibility
One of my favorite non-Math subjects in college was Philosophy 2. The subject description was, i believe, the Philosophy of Man. i liked it so much that i flirted with the idea of actually shifting to A.B. Philosophy as i was enrolled then as a B.S. Computer Engineering student. i am not sure why i considered such an idea. Maybe because of my childhood dream (True story: Prep Yearbook says "i want to be a priest") and that this course can lead me to that empty attempt. (i fell out of God's favor by that time, i assume.)
Anyway, in one of these classes for Philo 2 (Burns* Hall, 1st floor) we had a short quiz then discussion (or the other way around) that circled around the word "responsibility." It was one of the rather most interesting part of my college life (maybe entire life...) as that same quiz and discussion led to the rather most memorable "quote-unquotes" in this lifetime.
Nothing to brag about but this is what i remembered in the single time that i decided to join the recitation part of the discussion (i believe the question was on the relationship of freedom and responsibility, and i answered something to this effect):
That was the "recitation" part, there was also another exchange this time between pen and paper when we had our prelims for the same subject. The point this time was about how we can find our "real wants" (This was the exact term used by our teacher, i believe) when we live in a "workaday world."--- a normal life that is indeed routine. My answer to this essay-type question (or again, something to this effect):
i got a B+ for the test. And i dropped that subject. Irresponsible Bastard.
Anyway, in one of these classes for Philo 2 (Burns* Hall, 1st floor) we had a short quiz then discussion (or the other way around) that circled around the word "responsibility." It was one of the rather most interesting part of my college life (maybe entire life...) as that same quiz and discussion led to the rather most memorable "quote-unquotes" in this lifetime.
Nothing to brag about but this is what i remembered in the single time that i decided to join the recitation part of the discussion (i believe the question was on the relationship of freedom and responsibility, and i answered something to this effect):
We can only be free if we find a way, intentionally or unintentionally (meaning if we find ourselves in that situation...) to be irresponsible... Because in irresponsibility we have the chance to admit our mistakes and faults and that is assuming responsibility. This is the first step to freedom, knowing that we should be responsible and deciding what to do with that knowledge.i know, i know it's not exactly those words but i can quite remember what i meant and that's the nearest thing to what i said in front of the teacher and the entire class. i guess i can say i was proud of myself after that... exchange of ideas.
That was the "recitation" part, there was also another exchange this time between pen and paper when we had our prelims for the same subject. The point this time was about how we can find our "real wants" (This was the exact term used by our teacher, i believe) when we live in a "workaday world."--- a normal life that is indeed routine. My answer to this essay-type question (or again, something to this effect):
The workaday world boxes and limits each and one of us into finding our true selves. The real challenges are outside the four corners of this classroom. The real wants live outside the walls of this classroom. That's why i am passing this test paper right now and will try to find my real wants outside.Again, it's not those exact words. But am sure that it was that short and that sweet. And oh, i did leave the room after answering that one question and submitted my unfinished paper (there were other questions).
i got a B+ for the test. And i dropped that subject. Irresponsible Bastard.
Unsportsman
i hate sports. It has a way of putting you in a pedestal near heaven then suddenly bringing you to the depths of hell. Sure, you knew it beforehand, you understood that the ball is round and that this is after all a game, and ANYBODY can win that game and there's a (very good) chance to you'd be at the losing end. Yet you watch. You cheer. You wake up at 3:30 am even if you have work the same day. Then you can't watch it anymore because your team is losing. At some point, you die as well. You feel their pain. These high-paid athletes who won't ever know that you existed, you actually care for them and their teams.
Sports, i hate it.
Tomorrow, Lakers take on the Spurs even as the Celtics took game one of their series against the Pistons earlier today.
Sports, i hate it.
Tomorrow, Lakers take on the Spurs even as the Celtics took game one of their series against the Pistons earlier today.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
The Cagbalete Experience: How to getaway from the great getaway
After meeting Noel and Jester at Petron, EDSA-Boni (2:30 a.m., decided not to sleep and just play pool with Christian a couple of hours before that.) we went... South... In between unforced winks and forcing to gobble a Siopao (asado flavor, no dinner yet) from 7-11, Ron called and asked me which car Jester was using... i said white. White something. (Picture above: That's isle on the right off the big one, click to zoom)
First stopover, somewhere near Parañaque or Alabang i think (zero sense of direction) to meet up with Ron and his family and other friends. Time for a yosi-break. Went out of the car, and realized it was green. A couple of minutes later, Ron jokes about my colorblind-ness. All he got was a sheepish grin.
From there, it's a three-car convoy to Quezon. Four hours later or so, we arrived at the little town called Mauban and ate breakfast in a little resto called Lech-Gao. Lechon on Lugao sounds tasty but i settled for a Chami, a close cousin of your usual pansit.
(Picture above. Noel and Ron's back)
One hour later we were at a port called Pantalan, 45 minutes away from Cagbalete Island. News reports and text messages said that a storm was expected up north. The waves confirmed it as the people upfront were wet even before reaching the island. i was dripping as well.
+++
A low tide welcomed us. Nobody quite whined especially the wet ones. Noel grabbed the cottage nearest the water. Nobody quite whined as well.
+++
The afternoon turned to evening faster than i thought. The quick siesta rushed into dinner. The day flashed before my eyes... Blame Noel's early invitation (threat, actually) for a bottle of Vodka. Add the fact that Jester brought his own alcohol with the same name... And i hate Vodka for the longest time. Ever since i puked at Bonks' carpet at their place in San Felipe, Naga. So, in short i went away before i could even smell it... Noel must be fuming mad inside because i left him high and dry. Not literally of course. But i did not want to take that risk. Make that a pukeful of risk. Noel understands. And oh, i did take a shot or two or three when i woke up later that evening, but the inuman was already over and what i drank was the leftover. No worries. i can handle that one.
Thus, Day One was about sleep and the first escape.
Day Two. Saturday. In between text messages to Ron (officemate) and Don (former housemate) about the NBA Playoffs results were... More sleep and Gaiman... Oh, i did wake up early. And actually got a taste of the Cagbalete beach--- thanks to the high tide, you do not have to walk too far--- and swam before anyone awoke. i mean, i keep a six-pack and stuff, i don't want anyone staring at all.
(Picture above: Noel, Jester and Ron explore the island)
Utah lost and Cleveland won. Half a good news to start the morning which featured a walk along the shores. i thought it was half the island. Noel agrees. i loved the walk. Noel (always on these matters where he gets tired for NO reason) disagrees.
+++
Ron, or Noel, should have warned me that the food for the outing was served five times a day. 3 for the major meals and a couple for the snacks. So much for the pretend six-pack, it was never there anyway.
(Picture above: Abusing the Macro-setting of the digital camera; Cagbalete beach at low tide)
By Saturday evening, everyone (Ok not every one, just the poker addicts) was excited for the 3rd (?) Cagbalete Poker Championship. There were only five of us, so i thought this would be my best chance to steal this "championship." Not until i discovered that Richard, Ron's friend and one of the players for the night was a professional poker player. Not to mention Ron is another pro anyway (But we already knew that) and Noel virtually folds every hand. And Jester, who talks his way to every hand (He does back it up on most hands).
But i was "a man on a mission" (Jester) and will "play inspired" (Noel)--- i was in a very different mood by the first hand. Having had received a bunch of text messages that really saved my day (no, make that weekend). Plus, i was also gahdamn lucky that evening.
+++
i beat Jester, who was the first to get booted out, with a pair of 9. Then i risked a 3-3 against Ron... i remember the flop included a pair of K's and i was saved by the river (3) as i hit a full house... Ron bowed out because of pure luck. (Confession: i have been wanting to beat Ron at poker ever since they introduced me to the game, he is the best poker player i know. And hey this is the (former) boss that saved this life. i respect the man. So this particular feat is one for the books.)
The next two players? i had my confidence all build up. All i had to do was wait for the blinds to get bigger and attack... That i did. The Pro Poker Player that is Richard was probably cruising and wanting to get out of the mini-tournament to spend time with his family. Heck, what's a 100 peso buy-in for a pro like him? In less than 20 minutes, he was out too. And finally. Noel. The player who folds every hand. And who settles for 2nd place. And that's just the way he likes it.
+++
While the pot was small, the title comes with a sense of satisfaction. Much like my fantasy win earlier this year. This is a once a year feat. Who cares really that half of the invited guests and previous Cagbalete guests did not come. i won it this year. And i'd like to defend it next summer.
And oh, i can put a smile on Noel's face too: Going (almost) all-in on a 3-3 draw? And against Ron, my own personal hero? Run and gun, Phoenix style works! Even in poker.
+++
Final note for Day Two: Earlier in evening, Noel teased me for not speaking at all for the past 36 hours (oh really.) and goaded Ms. Eula (One of the guests, Chip's girlfriend--- Chip is Ron's friend. She talks in straight in English too.) to talk to me because errrm, well i don't speak at all.
So, over dinner with everybody else within earshot Eula suddenly blurts out a hi.
Me: Hello.That, my friends, put a sudden stop on the conversation. And i was kidding. Really i was. Thank god, Eula took the joke well but did not ask any more questions.
Eula: Enjoying the dinner?
Me: Yeah.
Eula (who i believe was trying to really open up this conversation): So, what do you like?
Me: Hmmmm. Errr. Well, i like NOT talking?
Thus, Day Two was about that smart-ass escape. And the steal at Poker. Such a nice day all things considered.
+++
Day Three. Sunday. Everyone was a bit tired now and we were scheduled to leave right after breakfast. We ended up leaving at around noon. Eula talked to me over one of the benches and she understood my silence.
Damn it, i had a 3 paragraph rule for this 2 and a half day outing. i exceeded it and spoke 2 or three sentences more.
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