Monday, August 4, 2008

Choices, changes and cards

Losing money in poker is never a big deal. Well, it's never a big deal until you realized that the taxi driver is asking for an extra ten pesos for the fare. They call it flat rate but it's never a flat world when it's the taxi drivers doing the talking--- also called soliciting--- and they make you round and round and round...

i read in a Pahalniuk book about the signs of addiction. i am not sure if it was a Pahlaniuk book anyway, but i read it somewhere. The signs are there probably. i am not going to deny that part. But. But i was accused of the same thing with basketball---- waking up at 4:30 am because the game is at 5:00 am and you had to be at the covered courts because you don't want to be late and spare yourself of being real early but still has to play the second game of the morning; then going home right after the game because you still had to continue that NBA LIVE franchise mode you started a week earlier OR watching the Memphis Grizzlies battle the San Antonio Spurs, which by the way has dominated the former in their first three meetings earlier in the season.

Which brings me back to a very personal question; where is the thin line drawn between addiction and passion? Is it the same, a point which probably every addict will want to hear and fight for? Or is it different, a perspective that every passionate person will fail to accomplish yet will try to understand... And so, which is it?

i am addicted to competition. It's not just about the fun... It's not just about fun AND winning even... It's about fun, winning and LOSING. It is all of it. i can not explain it and i will never understand it. It's the chopseuy of life. The tasty tender cauliflower versus a near-rotten string beans add a little mix of the usual carrots and cabbages.

i lost around 800 pesos last time i played poker. And i'm looking forward to the next games. You can call me anything now.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

One (U) month delayed

One U pilot episode moved to August 26. One World. One Dream. One U! Thanks and no thanks to the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

This is more than an oh-well moment by the way.



PBA Semis Forecast: Express in Seven

Rooting for San Miguel (Ok, it's called Magnolia) is tough these days, as many observers have pointed out it is a team that is (very) rich in talent but can't seem to find that character that will define them... Caught 3 of the 4 games this semifinals series and it is sheer talent that is carrying San Miguel; then again, talent alone won't win you championships and i don't see that happening this conference.

Unless...

San Miguel goes back to their previous strength and that is STOPPING people. Stopping Air 21 is indeed a difficult task since they are primarily an offensive team which maximizes their strength. They have an import in Thomas who knows to do just that and they have a slew of versatile players that gets the job done. Credit to the likes of David, Santos and even Se who have used their brute and speed to take advantage of the oft-times lazy and half-hearted efforts on the defensive end. So i repeat, unless they become more of an intentionally defensive team this next two-three games i just don't see the sister teams slugging it out for the crown.

Some notes:

+ Sad to see Danny Seigle being used sparingly. i just want his ass to be traded so that it lights a fire under his errr, ass and he plays motivated and he once again plays like a superstar. Injury or not , it's always sad to see "what could have been" players sitting out at the end of their careers. Not too sure if Siot inserted DS in the lineup last Sunday to up his trade value because it is obvious that SMB has already enough offensive weapons.

So we will see on Wednesday (and Friday and Sunday) if MY team proves my forecast wrong. That's always been the case when you really don't have a confidence in your team. The worst-case scenario reverse jinxing person might just change the fate.

Monday, July 28, 2008

White Choco goes Euro...

La fuga a Europa puede no terminar ahí. Los rumores sobre otros posibles fichajes son constantes. Se baraja el interés de dos equipos rusos por el pívot letón Andris Biedrins (Golden State Warriors), la posibilidad de que el esloveno Sasha Vujacic deje de ser compañero de Gasol en los Lakers, la huida de Carl Landry de los Houston Rockets y el fichaje de Luol Deng (Chicago Bulls) por el Panathinaikos. Incluso se dice que Jason Williams (Miami Heat) podría haber sido ofrecido al Maccabi de Tel Aviv.

Bold words translation (according to Hoopshype.com):

Jason Williams may have been offered to Maccabi Tel Aviv.

Damn it. And i was only half kidding when i said i should start getting into Euroleague fantasy...

Friday, July 25, 2008

Dae ko aram kung totoo ni...

Tsk. Tsk. Ang mga pinoy talaga. (Da best!) Sometime dapat post ko si Marlboro sachet. (Salamat sa officemate na si Paolo sa pagsend kang picture na kinua nya sa multiply site kang tropa nya).

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Take it for what it's worth

(This was actually included in the first entry today but may confuse some of the direct cause and effect and indirect effect and cause.. So, it needed it's own)

The tala and the buwan is smiling ear to ear. It's false hope and empty happiness by all means, but i will take it.

Change

i have decided to reinvent myself. From smartass to just an ass. The evolution of us. The devolution of me. i am not sure that's what you would like to call self-improvement. i might even need self-help books to start this one.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Vanity Fair: The Evolution of...

Nah. i can't believe it. The (cute and cuddly) child in that picture is supposed to be me? That was my first reaction as i rummaged through various antique things when i was in Naga two weekends ago... i doubt it that people seeing the same pictures will be having dissimilar reactions because they really have to wonder... uh, what?

So, anyway deciding against or for posting the images was sort of an issue with myself. i am always the behind the camera behind the camera behind the camera behind the camera type of person.

But what's to lose, eh? Nobody will believe anyway, that this was once me. Oh and for those who
are wondering how these pictures have their "collage look" that is rather unintentional as my sister (Let-Let, she's in one of them pictures as well) did cut the pictures because it had blemishes in them (Blame countless typhoons in the Bicol region). i admit it was in good intention but there's one lesson to be learned here: most things with blemishes (marks, ugly or not) are not to be cut but to be left alone. Because you will appreciate things better that way. (Thanks to Che for scanning the 50+ pictures and thanks to Let for keeping the pictures in some sort of order)

Pardon the vanity trip, i had to keep the images saved somewhere and none better than your own blog. Now, here are the pictures (with annotations and in no particular order) convincing myself that this is indeed me...





> Prep at Naga Parochial School. Apparently i hated uniforms already that i was in sando. That or i was again sweaty from playing aragawan-base or sipa that i had to change shirt. Naming my classmates from left to right... Nah, i can't remember anyone except for BJ Villaroya (sitting to my right) and who stands out because of that great smile and hair!






















> Hmm. All i remember with this one is that i asked the photographer to take the shot (camera) at the same time the guy in white (i assume this was a San Miguel game) is also taking his shot (PBA on TV)! Great shot!






















> Kuya RJ and his first bike. (This early you knew that i infinitely look better than him.)



> Always carried that killer smile. Yey, i can actually recognize most of the people in here. There's Let in the middle and to her right is a pair of kinakapitid in Tin and Nonay and cousin Pepo. Then there's old playmates and best of friends then Dodoy and Mon-Mon at the other side. Half of the names i mentioned will probably want to kill me too for mentioning their kid-names.























> With Ma. That's a genuine smile right there, after all i was still a toddler. No means and ways to disappoint her. Yet.


> Pair of godparents... Ninang and Ninong errrr... Now i understand why they never gave me any present that i can remember, i can't even remember their names...





















>
At the Naga Cathedral Grounds... Preparing for a big event called a Field Demonstration. The real cute and cuddly ones are just right in front of the class because of the factor called "according to height" when forming a line. You are looking at the sideview angle of Mr. Arnold San Joaquin and Mr. (now a doctor) Rosito "Arbee" Bascuña.






> More and...




















> ...more of the same...

























> and a little farther back...








> Complete cast of the Q-siblings. i wasn't a teacher's pet. Promise.3

> More of the elementary intrams. The class as Rambo...

Actually there are some more pictures to be uploaded but am too excited to not post the first set so i guess i will just update it in a later timeIf i missed out on the names and places and other facts... You can blame the error on the blemishes.

(And uploading them at will a few spaces below, annotations will have to follow though..)









































Monday, July 21, 2008

i USED TO be fun

Ha! How's that for an accusation? Apparently, i have lost it. i might be losing it all, but definitely not it. They won't understand it because i don't. And it's all relative, if you know what i mean.

Pagdinalan mo ang pasali, apod dyan box-office hit! Pagdae ka naggibo ning pasali? You used to be fun dyan ang apod and naghahalat lang sinda na ipadagos ang pelikula... (Trilogy? Series?) Dae ninda maiintindindihan na ma na maabot na na pasali. Tapos na. The end na ang pelikula. Dae ninda yan maiintindihan ta dae ko naiintindihan. Relative apod dyan.

Mayong pakiararaman. (Dae yan negative, arog lang talaga kayan dangogon medyo smart-ass.)

Thursday, July 17, 2008

The untamed comedy of pain

Love shit story coming up. Stop reading if you have a heart.

All i really remember was the tragic ending. No, more like the sad ending. Tragic is too strong a word, and sad is just the apt reference. It’s neither empty nor assuming, just the right one. Another thing I remember was that it’s title included the word “heart”, I wasn’t too sure then if it was untamed or weak hearts because movies over free tv back then never gave you a clue what it’s called because after all they tell you the title just in the beginning. Years passed, thanks to the web I did find the right title of the movie starring Christian Slater and Marissa Tomei.

I remember I once fell in love with Tomei in the movie “Only You”--- yes, the Damon Bradley-led love shit story, but it was in the movie “Untamed Heart” that I fell in love with the story itself--- Tomei this time was just a character. And just one of the characters in the movie that cut you through--- deep and deep--- it just doesn’t hurt; it defines you all the unexplained and empty emotions it that in a way and the other defines the ineffability of unconditional love.

The roughly one and half hour flick started with Adam (Christian Slater) as a very young boy in an orphanage run by nuns. That one and half hour was two and more including advertisements the first and only time I watched it when I was in high school. Deep and deep, the vivid images and the powerful plot brings you back to the struggle and pleasure of the entire film even fifteen years or so later, and probably more, if time allows.

Fast forward to fifteen years and more--- Adam’s life in the movie, not mine--- we find him working in a restaurant working with Caroline (Marissa Tomei). In a few words, Caroline was wild and Adam was mild--- both an exaggeration and an understatement. In short, oil and water (oil and vinegar says Caroline's character, we don't know if it was a joke or otherwise) that will never mix even if you tried. But in love, you do not even have to try, it just happens.

After many unsuccessful relationships, Caroline was in the unintentional process of just feeling and not looking for errr… love. For accidents are not mere coincidences, the unassuming Adam finds himself being introduced to Caroline after the former saved the latter in what was a rape attempt at Caroline. This was Adam the beast, almost fearless always pure emotion, which beat the hell out of the men who tried to destroy the life of his love and the love of his life. In the next few weeks in between Christmas and New Year (Credit the writers for picking the best time for a tragic story!) Caroline eventually got Adam to open up--- in more ways than one--- his heart and soul and mind. Backtrack a little bit, Adam has a congenital heart disease--- just so considerate to mention that in this line--- the same heart that will explain the title of the movie and define the Adam-ness in Adam.

More understatements: Adam was aloof of the world, boxed in his own and distant from it. The silent introvert type who lives in an almost unassuming and unreal dreams but true. His world is his own and Caroline’s--- he admits to her later that he has been stalking her for such a long time; that he watches her sleep because of… the peace in her face and not even wanting a piece of her mind (Stalking bastard is what comes to mind)… Stalking or just plain insane, what happened was the accident of saving her from the pair of felons, all not mere coincidences in a script written by destiny and acted upon by love.

As both our main characters started to really get to know each other, from Adam’s fixation to nothingness but her to her realization of the unconditional emotion in front of her, Adam and Caroline became as one--- for oil and vinegar (water) do mix, just add a little bit of ingredient called heart.

Twists and turns as in real life, bad moments get the best of the better people. The nameless felons eventually got back at Adam, finding him at the back alley of the restaurant, returning the favor and more, and stabbing him right at the center of his gut. Forward to the hospital scene, Adam was saved but as the doctor attending to him probably summarized the moral of the movie; “it’s not the knife wound that we are concerned about, it’s the heart that we are concerned.”

Warning: another love shit comparison coming up: for all our courage to fight and to bounce back from pain, it’s the love within us that reminds us of all the pain, and maybe, just maybe we can die from that same love as well. The doctor, the medical one and not the love doctor did remind Caroline that the recovery from trauma was a rare case as well, and maybe, just maybe it was what saved Adam’s life that night.

The doctor would suggest a heart transplant but Adam would none of it (stupid bastard) saying later: “They’re wrong, no one is taking away my heart…this is my heart.” (Time to bash orphanages now for “educating” the stupid bastard) And so Adam lived with a half a heart with Caroline compensating the half of it (Since this is a tragic story we know from this point on that Adam was living somewhat a half life.)

With the stupid leading the blind (or vice versa, depending on which character you are in this film), the movie builds up the sad ending. Caroline gives Adam a surprise birthday gift a few days/weeks/later bringing him to a hockey game between the Detroit Redwings and Dallas Stars… Adam did enjoy the game even catching a rare puck shot into the stands. We don’t know if he even understands sports in general, but he had a very interesting and new experience to say the least and Caroline was the star of the game. In the long way drive home with Adam at the passenger’s seat, he died staring at Caroline’s face and peace and happiness. Of course, she assumed that it was just sleep that consumed his tired loved one. But it was sleep times eternity, and it is called death.

The discovery was of course painful. The realization that your loved one has ceased or has gone away eats up… everything. Caroline, in the film’s saddest moment, was waking up Adam inside the car telling him: “Come on, baby, we are home… Baby… baby…” and crying and crying and crying… The directors and scriptwriters did spare us of more pain as the next scene brought as right to burial but pulls the rug right under us… ...as the film ended with Caroline, happy and sad and happy and sand and empty, in Adam’s apartment holding some pictures of the past with Adam… With Adam’s collection of vinyl records (instrumental)… Adam’s previously unread letter… “i carry your heart with me… I am not yet finishe… I carry it in my heart.”

The end.

No more love shit notes from here onwards. Promise. Continue reading, have a heart. I wish I was Adam and not Caroline today because the greatest tragedy of our lives is not the absence of happiness but just the absence. The greatest comedy of pain and of death is not in sadness but in emptiness.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

RP TEAM: It's on once again

As early as two weeks ago there were reports circulating that the PBA has once again committed to supporting the Men's Basketball National Team. And so here we go again... What is good for Philippines basketball is good for every hoop-loving citizen in this country. We might fail every single time but we rise up as one every time as well because of our passion for the game.

Excerpts from an article from the Philippine Star:
PBA commissioner Sonny Barrios said the coach of the RP team to the world qualifier next year would come from the PBA ranks and would be given full authority to form his team. However, Barrios, the man with the sole mandate to name the next national coach, said he’s not yet ready to make the choice. “I’ll break my head about the national team only after the Fiesta Cup. After the season, I’ll have a better landscape choosing the most deserving coach,” said Barrios. The PBA board of governors, in a special meeting Monday, approved SBP’s request for the pro league to supply players for the national team to the 2008 FIBA Asia championship next year in China. The tourney also serves as regional qualifier for the 2010 world championship in Turkey.
Assuming that it is Yeng Guiao who is tapped for the next one to two years as the national coach... a) There'll be a bunch of (good to great) players who will not be called upon because of attitude problem and the basic necessity to work within the system of a team; b) Dedication on defense c) Consistency (on both ends) off the floor despite inconsistent minutes (which is a tangent of letter a but needs to be addressed nonetheless for emphasis) For a) it's bye-bye to Mark Caguioa, Danny Seigle, Willie Miller and the likes. There are others as well but that's pretty much the A-list for the rather "selfish" and considered by many as non-team players (one way and the other) for b) the premium is on defensive bigmen and energy glue-guys; bye-bye to Yancy de Ocampo (we could use the 6 foot 9 frame with shooting but too lazy), to Arwind Santos (who is good but has very low basketball IQ), to KG Canaleta (who is as good as Santos but has the same level in basketball IQ; his three point shooting is improving though... just to mention some...

So here's my RP National Team for the 2009 qualifiers:

PG - Jimmy Alapag - Clearly his game elevates in the international scene. His heart exemplifies what Filipino basketball should be about)
- Ryan Reyes - He is one of the future premiere guards in the league, his size and heft and the ability to play the point is big in foreign land. Wasn't too impressed with Jay Jay Helterbrand in his last stint, i thought he showed too much immaturity for his age.


SG - Don Don Hontiveros - Couple or more booboos during the pre-tournaments (Jones Cup), but showed he can defend bigger players which is very important for the squad; also his offense did not suffer as much despite being used as one of the main perimeter defenders.
- James Yap - Gunners are at premium and he is the best shooter in the land. Can slide to the 3-spot as well.

- Ren Ren Ritualo - a specialist more than anything.

SF - Gabe Norwood - i hate to start him because he can play 3 positions and that's a luxury off the bench. Nonetheless, he is a shoo-in. He is the reason as well why we don't need a third point guard because he can play that position.

- Jay Washington
- tough, tough draw on this one. But if we need quickness and defense and versatility, he fits the bill


PF - Kelly Williams - may slide to the 3-spot when necessary and we want to go big. Slashing and a little bit of range plus his athleticism will surely help us

- Ranidel de Ocampo - Impressive during his stint last time. Showed he can push even though his opponents were 4-5 inches taller. His range helps as well


C - Enrico Villanueva - Might want to start him just to send a message. Maybe too foul prone but he knows that already and we need his fire (and maybe pick a little fight against the foreigners here and there)
- Mick Pennissi - Rico and Mick again? Why not, our big man will be the enforcers and these two are the best in the business. The big errr slick also has that 3 pointer and that helps at the C-spot.

- Japeth Aguilar - More than anything the "project-slash-prospect" of the squad. If he has indeed showed improvement, well and good. If not the experience will pay off down the road.

Outside the bubble (Injury replacements)
Asi Taulava is turning 36 in 2009 and Pennissi is 2 years younger... He still can play but we only need one veteran presence down low and Pennisi's range gives him the nod. Helterbrand as i've mentioned is a good player but i think we need Reyes' and Norwood's size down at the position anyway... Cyrus Baguio could be an option, but outside of being Guiao's player his game doesn't fit the internationall ball... Kirby Raymundo showed a lot of heart last time as well, he can replace Aguilar if the latter is deemed not ready...

Clearly, we should simply send the best if we want to have that chance. And there is no other way but to go the PBA way. Now that the pro league is assigned to that, they shall return the favor and send the best players to form the best possible team.

Monday, July 14, 2008

www.quizon.com

Before leaving for Manila from Naga last Sunday, my Pa told me of this certain website that featured a rather familiar name... My father's cousin from Batangas visited our place in Bicol some days back and mentioned about the site which is the title of this entry... Now, now there is no really big deal in discovering a new site here and there for i basically do that everyday--- but a site that features YOUR name? So anyway, i did what my Pa told me and visited the site... Apparently, i had to email the administrator first to have an access to the sub-links of the site and that's what i did.

Fast forward to today and i already have an email correspondence with Gary, who maintains the site and it looks like both parties are glad that we have made contact. i can't explain it really but i felt rather lighthearted after having had short conversations with him. Sure, sure it's not like i recently discovered that there's life outside the Milky Way or that this drastically changes my way of life, but it's simply the obvious fact and realization that there are people who share my name and we, in one way or another, belong to the same family tree.

The more you know, the more you don't know. That applies to probable "distant" relatives as well.

EN'ZO

For the Nth time.